Jealousy is unfortunately an often misunderstood emotion. This is true regardless of the situation but feels and seems more poignant when it’s within a marriage. When a couple commits to love and honor one another forever it would seem that jealousy has no place within that union. Sadly, it often rears its ugly head to the point that the couple becomes disconnected and the marriage suffers. If your wife has a jealous streak that is impacting your emotional connection, you may be tempted to ignore it with the hope that it will vanish over time. It’s not going to happen. You need to address your wife’s jealous rages and help her understand that what she is feeling is unwarranted.
Dealing with your wife’s jealous rages may be something you struggle to do in an effective way. If her behavior seems petty or silly to you, it’s understandable why you’d dismissive her concerns in a flippant way. Perhaps you say things to her like, “you’re being silly,” or “you’ve got nothing to worry about.” To her these responses will make her feel even worse. She’ll feel unimportant and it will reinforce the idea, in her mind, that you are interested in someone else or you’ve been thinking of another woman. It’s very important that you don’t act as though her concerns don’t matter to you or that you’re simply annoyed with them. She needs you to validate what she feels.
Jealousy has very little to do with a person being genuinely concerned that their partner is considering having an affair or is falling in love with someone else. Jealousy is a much more self contained emotion. A person who feels jealousy to the point that it manifests itself into a deep rage is suffering from a serious lack of self esteem. Your wife may not like how her body looks or she may feel that she’s not intelligent or alluring enough to hold your attention. If that’s the case, she’s allowing her insecurities to come out as anger at you. Whenever another woman speaks to you or even looks at you, this can trigger your wife’s self loathing to the point that she lashes out at you in an effort to make herself feel better. Surprisingly, she may not even be fully aware that she’s doing this.
The best way you can handle your wife’s jealous rages is to constantly reiterate to her why you love her. Don’t be so blatantly obvious with this that she starts to see you as someone who is feeding her ego. You want your comments and compliments to come from a place of genuine admiration. Tell her how great you think she looks, how smart she is and how you couldn’t have chosen anyone to be a better mother to your children. These types of remarks, coming from you, will help her to see that she has little to worry about because you do indeed love her very much.
If you have been saying or doing things that have caused your wife to feel jealous, give some thought to how that makes her feel. Even a small comment about how young another woman looks can really hit a sore spot in a woman’s ego who is at the mature stage of life. If you do enjoy looking at other women or if you work closely with a very attractive woman, it’s best to keep any comments to yourself. Your wife doesn’t need to hear those things if she’s already struggling to love herself. Even though you may not say things about other women to hurt your wife intentionally, the end result is the same.
Dealing with a jealous wife can be emotionally exhausting. There are tools that can help you learn to deal more effectively with your wife so she starts to feel closer and more emotionally connected to you.