There’s an unspoken expectation that every man carries with him on his wedding day. He’s certain, typically beyond any rhyme or reason, that his soon-to-be wife will always love him as much as she does when she walks towards him down the aisle. It’s completely understandable why a man would believe this. Our wedding days are full of promise and we expect, hope and believe that nothing between us and our spouse will ever change. The divorce rate right now suggests otherwise. Marriages come apart for a variety of reasons and typically we don’t pay that close of attention to those around us who are separating and divorcing. When your own wife seems to be trying to gain some emotional distance from you, that’s when you’re going to ring the alarm that something is very wrong. If this has started happening within your own marriage, learning how to win your wife’s love back is obviously going to be your number one focus in the days and weeks ahead.

Make amends for past mistakes if you want to get your marriage back on track. Righting the wrongs of the past has to be an essential step towards rebuilding the connection that you and your wife once had. As much as we all want, as human beings, to absolve ourselves of the guilt when we’re in a failed relationship, it does take two to achieve success in marriage. Think solely about your own actions and what you might have done differently to keep the spark alive between you and your wife. Apologize to her but don’t turn this into a circus. It needs to be heartfelt and simple. If you sit your wife down, tell her that you recognize that you’ve fallen short in the “perfect husband” category and you want a chance to prove to her that you can be a better partner that will impact her. She may not react favourably immediately but it will fester within her and she’ll start to wonder about what your marriage could be like if you both tried harder.

Allow your actions to speak for you. Making a promise to become a better spouse is one thing, but it takes determination and commitment to follow through. The easiest and most effective way to show your wife that you are serious about winning her love and adoration back is by making a list of all the things you could be doing for her that you haven’t been. It may be something as simple as helping her by cooking dinner a couple of nights a week. Maybe you feel that you need to spend more time being a co-parent so she can free up her schedule to pursue the things she wants to do. By taking on a more active role within the marriage and acting more like a partner, you’ll be showing your wife one very important thing. She’ll see, feel and sense that you respect her and that can go a long way towards healing a marriage that is swimming in emotional pain.

Communicate with your wife about the marriage regularly. It may seem as though this should go without saying but in most marriages, both partners put their spouse on the back burner to tend to numerous other things. Unless a couple makes time and commits to talking about their relationship on a regular basis, the connection they once shared may become strained. You have to be the person who encourages your wife to make the time to talk about your marriage, what you both want from it and what isn’t working, at the moment. Unless you do this, the disconnect that your wife has been feeling from you will continue to grow. This is paramount if you want a happier and more enriching bond with your spouse. You may want to make discussion time a weekly event that happens when you two go out to dinner or perhaps it’s better suited to sit down each day for a bit after the children have gone to bed and the house is peaceful. You must take the initiative with this and work with your wife to improve the communication between you two so it reaches a point where you both feel incredibly comfortable sharing everything you feel.

Winning your wife’s love back is definitely within your grasp if you are willing to adapt to the situation and make positive changes. You were the man she chose to marry and with more understanding, insight and thoughtful attention you can show your wife that you would marry her all over again. Help her feel that. By doing so you’ll be holding her hand, in an emotional sense, as she sheds the barriers that have been created and allows herself to get closer to you than she’s ever been before.

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