“My wife and I argue all the time and I hate it,” said the frustrated man. You wish so much that you weren’t that man, don’t you? It’s so hard to know that almost anything you say will result in you and your wife having words. You don’t want your marriage to be like this. You long for the days when you two always got along and she seemed actually excited to see you at the end of the day. It’s just not that way anymore now. You’re starting to dread talking with her at all and even though you deeply love her you’re wondering if you can ever make the marriage work again. You can. You have the power to shift the dynamic of your relationship so your wife feels closer to you. Once this happens all those arguments will become a thing of the distant past.
If your wife and you argue all the time you obviously need to recognize that there is a major problem in your relationship. Couples don’t face that much conflict unless there are some underlying issues that need to be dealt with. If every small conversation quickly escalates into a full on verbal battle, it’s time to really look at what’s at play. In almost every marriage in which this is happening there is an issue that has been pulling the couple apart for a time. It tends to be something large that they just can’t come to terms with. In many cases it centers on the children or at other times it’s about finances. Whatever it is, you need to identify it and work on remedying it now.
Compromise is the key if you want a marriage that is calmer and less filled with conflict. If you are the one seeking this it’s up to you to work on finding a compromise that works for you. Approach your wife at a time when you feel she may be open to talking about the main issue that is pulling you two apart. Begin the conversation by explaining that you have been thinking about things and you feel that you’ve found a compromise that may work. Don’t expect her to be completely receptive to begin with. It may take her some time to process what you’re suggesting and then accept it. It’s incredibly important that you don’t push her on this. Telling you that you’re sacrificing something for her so she should be thankful or making her feel guilty for not being more accepting of what you’re offering won’t help. You need to be patient and understanding with her.
It’s also a good idea to lay down some ground rules for when you do argue. Most married couples have no idea how to resolve conflict in an effective way. They just allow their emotions to take control of the situation which typically results in someone being hurt. It’s helpful if you have an agreement in place before you argue. Some basic understandings may include things like not interrupting one another and leaving insults out of the discussion. Work on setting boundaries for each other so when conflict does arise you can deal with it as two mature and in control adults.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your wife to feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don’t have to worry about whether your wife is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make her fall hopelessly in love with you.