Familiarity often does indeed breed contempt. Sadly, that’s one of the reasons so many marriages barrel down the slippery slope towards divorce. A couple that was once very deeply and hopelessly in love may find themselves drifting further and further apart. One day a man wakes up with the realization, “my wife asked for a separation.” He feels panicked, unsure and confused about what his future holds. If that man is you, you already know that hearing your wife say she no longer wants to be with you is devastating. You mustn’t be too quick to throw in the towel of defeat on your marriage though. You can still piece things back together and create a stronger than ever bond if you understand what you need to be doing right now.
When a man says, “my wife asked for a separation,” he’s already seeing an inevitable divorce on the horizon. That fact alone can make him feel as though there’s absolutely no use in trying to save the relationship. He may have jumped to the incorrect conclusion that his wife has fallen out of love with him forever and nothing he can say or do will change that. That’s typically not the case. The time before and during a separation should be viewed as a time to make changes. You can still pull your wife back to you and recapture the deep love and devotion you held for one another.
Begin the process of healing by accepting what your wife is experiencing. If you get upset with her and tell her that you won’t agree to a separation she’ll instantly feel devalued as a person. It’s important that you listen to her explain why she wants some time apart. It’s also essential that you understand that many marriages that do take a break end up stronger than ever once the partners realize how much they need one another.
By agreeing to the separation you’ll be ensuring your wife knows that you want to put her needs first. You should suggest some ground rules for the time you two are spending apart. Perhaps you might want her to spend one evening a week dining with you so you two can talk about the problems you are facing. Maybe you feel it’s necessary to talk each morning or evening so you two can stay connected. If you approach her with your needs in a clear and calm way, the separation can actually be a time of reconnection for you both.
Don’t push your wife to get back together with you before she’s ready. By allowing her the space she needs you’ll ensure that she understands that you want her to sort through what she’s feeling without any added pressure from you. By staying close to her in a calm and supportive way, you’ll be giving your marriage the second chance it deserves.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your wife to feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don’t have to worry about whether your wife is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make her fall hopelessly in love with you.