Whenever a man says, “my wife fell out of love with me,” there’s a sadness that permeates the conversation. You feel sorry for him and you wish, for his sake, that his marriage had taken a different turn or twist. It’s obviously hard to hear a person talk about how their relationship is falling apart. When you’re the husband in that shattered mess, it’s even more challenging than you could have imagined. Each day is consumed with thoughts of what the future holds and what you could do to change things. You wish you could turn back the clock to when your wife was deeply in love with you. Your marriage felt effortless then and you never had a doubt that it would last forever. Now, you’re unsure of whether your future with your wife will creep past the next week or month. Living in a situation like this is emotionally exhausting. You are, in essence, waiting for the other foot to drop. You have to decide whether your marriage is worth saving or not and if it is, it’s time to start rebuilding it on a much stronger, and stable foundation.
Your wife didn’t fall out of love with you overnight. Relationships, particularly long term ones, just don’t work this way. There are subtle changes over time that some men simply miss. Maybe your wife stopped talking about her needs somewhere along the way because she felt you just didn’t care. Or was there a time when she stopped being the one to say she loved you first? It’s those small changes that eventually build up and culminate in your wife feeling so emotionally detached from you that she’s convinced she’s no longer in love.
Begin the healing process by asking your wife to talk to you about what exactly she’s feeling. This may take some encouragement on your part and also the promise that you won’t interrupt her or launch into defensive mode. If she feels that her sharing her feelings or thoughts will only start an argument, she won’t be interested. Explain that you are well aware that your marriage is facing a crisis and you are prepared to do whatever it takes to save it. Be clear that you want her to speak her mind without fear that you’ll verbally attack her in response. She has to feel safe and secure in allowing you to see and hear the vulnerable side of her again. This is crucial for starting the process of rebuilding a bond between the two of you.
Kindness is something that seems to slip out the door as a marriage matures. Many couples stop being kind and considerate to each other when they’ve been together for a time. They no longer do the small things that are helpful for their spouse. They stop giving their partner compliments and they no longer express how grateful they are to have the other person in their lives. You can set a new tone for your marriage by changing this now. Consider how precious your wife really is to you and start showing her that through your words and actions. Allow your heart to guide you with this. Be attentive and understanding to her and you’ll soon notice a shift in her attitude towards you. The small gestures you put forward now can have a dramatic and lasting impact on your connection with the woman you love.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your wife to feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don’t have to worry about whether your wife is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make her fall hopelessly in love with you.