We all have bad days. It’s part of the human experience. There’s an old saying about getting up on the wrong side of the bed and once that happens, the entire day seems to clumsily fall apart. That’s bound to happen once in a while but what if it’s a regular occurrence? What if you’re living with a woman who seems stuck in a negative zone with no end in sight? It’s discouraging dealing with someone who is having an off day, but when you’re married to a woman who can’t find the positive in life anymore it’s going to impact you in a negative sense at some point. If your own wife is guilty of this and you’re simply tired of having to bear the brunt of her negative attacks, you need to take a stand now to change it. If you don’t, your silence and inaction will be construed as acceptance and you’ll never find your way out of the negative pit that your wife is digging for the marriage.
Work on Identifying Where All the Negativity is Coming From
People change as they mature and sometimes it’s that maturity that actually brings with it a boatload of negativity. If your wife and you have been together for some time and she’s feeling as though she put her own dreams on hold to fulfill those of you and your growing family, that can cause some negativity. Another possibility is that your wife just isn’t happy with the career path she’s devoted herself to.
If you and your wife have struggled with any ongoing conflicts you may find that she’ll hold her resentment in and that will manifest itself as pessimism or belittling behavior. You may have noticed her becoming more critical after you two have had words or a more serious argument. If there is a past issue between you two that hasn’t been resolved this could actually be the source of her negative emotions.
In some cases it’s virtually impossible to pinpoint what has caused your wife to become this way or maybe she’s always had a negative streak within her that has now just gotten much worse. If that’s the case it’s worth talking to her about what is bothering her. Don’t ask in any way that is accusatory. Just mention that you’ve noticed that she seems stressed or overwhelmed and you’re wondering if there’s anything you can do that might help. Be prepared for her to not share what she’s feeling. This is natural but the fact that you asked will show her that you do have an interest.
Focus on Helping Her Find the Positives in Her Life
In life, we can quickly become overwhelmed with the things that bring us down. If bills are due and money is a bit tight, if we’re facing a crisis at work or if an important relationship is strained, that can cause anyone to focus on what is bad, instead of what is good. It’s up to you, as your wife’s life partner, to help her find the happiness within her life again.
Begin by addressing anything that you feel may be pushing her to be more negative minded. This may involve you doing things like helping her more around the house if she seems overworked. Perhaps you can sit down and work out a balanced budget if you two are dealing with living payday to payday. It may include you offering her more compliments if she’s feeling unhappy with who she is at the moment.
Consider what you think the problem is and then silently work out a plan to help remedy it. Even small gestures can go a long way to help your wife see the good in her life again.
Listen More to Your Wife and Offer Her Your Shoulder to Lean On
When a person is focused on what is wrong, instead of what is right it can help them immeasurably to talk about it. Your wife may benefit a great deal by venting her feelings to you. It can be a struggle to not react when a person is constantly sharing things that are negative, but if you skilfully learn how to interject positive statements, that can help a lot.
Sit with your wife each day, to share a morning coffee or a meal, and ask her what’s going on with her. Give her a platform to share what she’s feeling without being judged. Just expressing those negative things is often enough to help a woman feel less focused on them.
Be clear with your wife that you’re here for her and that you want to help her find the good in her life again. Point out how fortunate you both are to have one another. Remind your wife, each and every day, of what she has to be grateful for and in time, she’ll begin to see it as clearly as you do.
You can make your marriage into a happy, fulfilling and mutually enriching connection. Learn how to make your wife love you more.