In life we’re often thrown into situations that we’re just not prepared for. It may be the sudden loss of someone we adore or perhaps we discover that we’re going to be a parent before we feel we’re ready for that. The thing about life changing surprises is that there’s always a way to adapt to them. It can sometimes take effort and determination to change to accommodate what’s happened, but we do it mainly because there isn’t another choice. Such is the case when your marriage shifts from a place of fulfillment to one of discontent. If your wife has come to you and told you that she feels she needs some space, it can devastate you in the moment. All you hear and absorb is that your wife wants some time apart from you. It’s important to see this not as the end of your marriage but more as a stimulus for change. Take heart in the knowledge that your wife didn’t ask for a divorce and then focus on improving the marriage for you both beginning today.
Talk more openly to your wife. One very common reason that marriages start to unravel is the couple just isn’t connected emotionally anymore. If your wife needs space it may very well be because she feels as though you two have reached a point where you’re nothing more than strangers living under the same roof. Married women crave a strong and unbreakable connection with their spouse. If that disappears it’s natural for a woman to consider whether the marriage is fulfilling her needs any longer. Hence the reason some women ask for space or a separation.
Remember you’re a couple before anything else. The dynamic between a couple changes as the marriage matures. Life takes hold of the couple and instead of spending leisurely Saturday mornings in bed they are racing around trying to get their children to ball practice or to piano lessons. A family changes the connection between a couple and without careful nurturing the bond between the man and his wife can get lost in all the havoc that typically encompasses a family’s life. You have to work very hard to ensure you spend time with just your wife each and every day. You always want her to see you as her partner first and the father of her children second.
Work harder to fulfill her needs. Although both you and you wife have pressures and demands in your lives that you simply can’t ignore, it’s important that you do whatever you can to make your wife’s life as fulfilling as possible. Women will sometimes pull back from their husbands because of resentment. This typically occurs in families where the wife takes on the brunt of the hands-on parenting duties in addition to tending to her own personal responsibilities including her career. You’re her partner and it’s incredibly important that you show her that you value her as an equal partner. To that end you should be tending more to the day-to-day needs of the children as well as some of the household responsibilities. Your wife needs this from you.
Give her time to herself. There’s an understandable panic that sets in when you grasp the fact that your wife wants space. Your initial reaction is going to be to argue the point with her. You may even lash out at her out of fear that she’s abandoning you and the marriage. This is the moment when you can really prove to your wife how much you respect her as a woman and as your partner. Give her space if she insists it’s what she needs. As scary as the proposition of her moving out is, you need to allow it to happen if she’s pressing the point and not relenting. Her wish to create some distance may help her understand how important you are to her and if you don’t allow her what she needs, she’ll only view you as a controlling bully who won’t allow her to express her own needs. Just be certain to stay in close contact with her if she does take the dramatic step of asking for a separation. You want to remind her on a regular basis that you adore her and want to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work.
Just as with any relationship, a crisis can sometimes be the reason for change. Look at this as an opportunity for you to transform into the husband you’ve always longed to be. Make positive change your focus and show your wife that she is your number one priority. Your marriage can become the emotional safe haven you want it to be. Put in the effort and work with your wife to help her feel that being right beside you is exactly where she belongs.
Specific things you do and say can compel your wife to love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause her to feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don’t have to worry about whether your wife is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make her fall hopelessly in love with you.