“My wife wants to separate,” is not something you ever want to hear yourself saying if you’re desperately in love with the woman. Hearing her tell you that she’s no longer happy in the relationship and wants some time apart can be utterly devastating. You feel your marriage slipping away and you likely also feel that there’s little you can do to change it. You’re wrong. When one partner wants a separation it’s a sign that the marriage isn’t providing them what they need emotionally and physically. It should be viewed as a warning that unless some drastic steps are taken, the marriage is going to end in divorce. This is your one chance to improve the relationship so that your wife once again feels close to you.
Anytime a man says, “my wife wants to separate,” he’s saying it from a place that is immersed in panic. It’s hard not to panic when the person you love most in the world essentially tells you that they’re ready to leave you. Panic won’t help you make the right decisions when it comes to saving your marriage. You have to take a deep breath, acknowledge that things aren’t right and then devise a plan of attack. Unless you’re calm and cool headed about this, you risk pushing your wife further away by saying or doing things that will alienate her even more.
Talk to her openly and honestly about what she’s feeling and what is missing for her. Your wife may not be willing to talk about this initially because she knows that you’re likely to react in a defensive way. Encourage her to open up to you by explaining that you’re willing to set aside your feelings so that you can learn more from her. Give her the floor and allow her the opportunity to talk as much as she wants about what she’s been feeling. Not only will this prove cathartic for your wife it will be a lesson for you as well. You’re learn where the marriage is failing and you’ll recognize what you can begin doing now to change things.
Become more of the husband you used to be for your wife. It’s easy to get caught up in all life’s stresses and demands and to put your wife’s needs aside. Now is the time for you to focus on making her happier. Start tending to her needs more by being more present in the marriage. If she’s been feeling neglected because of your overwhelming work schedule, work less. Focus more on spending quality time with her. If she sees and feels that you’re making every available effort to be a better husband for her, she’ll be that much more inclined to give the marriage another chance.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your wife to feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don’t have to worry about whether your wife is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make her fall hopelessly in love with you.