“I think my wife might leave me,” isn’t something you ever imagined you’d say. Most marriages go through some difficult patches at times, but at the end of the day, you and your wife have always honored your vows and each other. Now, you’re beginning to worry that she may be feeling as though the grass would be greener on the other side of a divorce. You don’t want that but what options do you have? There is actually quite a lot a man in your position can do. It took a long time to build your relationship with your wife, so it’s imperative that you don’t allow your marriage to crumble without investing all of your emotional energy in it to save it.
Before you continue on the path of fret and constant worry over your wife deciding to leave you, ensure that’s what is actually going on. You’ve been married long enough to know that often a wife will hurl out a threat of walking out of the marriage when in fact she’s just feeling frustrated in a particular moment. If your wife told you that she’s considering leaving when she was struggling to get her point across during an argument, don’t put too much weight in her words. However, if she told you that she’s unhappy and has been considering a separation for some time, that is obviously a much more serious situation and one that needs your immediate and undivided attention.
You need to talk with your wife about what is spurring on this decision. There are times, in a woman’s life, when she reaches a point where she’ll begin to question the meaning of her life. We sometimes refer to this as a mid life crisis, but it can actually occur at anytime to a woman. Perhaps you two just became parents, and your wife is feeling overwhelmed by the sudden demands an infant presents. She may feel that you’re not contributing in the way she needs you to. The same is often true when a husband takes on a very busy career path that doesn’t leave him much time to devote to his family. If your wife feels neglected in any way, she may believe that leaving you and seeking out someone new will help her feel valued and appreciated.
Listen when your wife shares what she’s feeling. It’s imperative that you don’t interrupt her and try and dissuade her from what she’s thinking or feeling. Your wife is an adult with her own mind and her own emotions. If she feels that leaving the marriage is going to make her happier, you must acknowledge that. It certainly doesn’t mean you have to accept it at this point. You do, however, have to take it seriously because she’s serious about her intentions.
I never advise a man in this position to get into an argument with his wife over the future of their marriage. Your wife has expressed her desire to leave the marriage. Discounting that is only going to make her feel as though she doesn’t matter. That, in turn, will make her even more convinced that she’s making the right decision in walking out.
Calmly and rationally discuss what you each want for your individual and collective futures. If you express to your wife that you don’t want the marriage to end, that is showing her that you still have belief that you two can make it work. Often, for a wife, who feels that her husband has checked out of the marriage emotionally, that affords her a boost of hope that he really does care.
It’s crucial that you see this as a time to reinvent your relationship with your wife. You two may not be able to handle this process on your own so don’t be too quick to push aside the idea of couples’ therapy. It’s also worth noting that having a positive attitude that includes supporting your wife at every turn can make a tremendous difference in the future of the marriage.
Although you may feel as though divorce is looming on your marital horizon, there are still ways to save the marriage. You can get your wife to love you more than ever if you understand the exact steps you need to take.